“Imagine a world led by Pope Pizzaballa. You know peace talks would at least come with garlic bread.”
Alright, serious(ish) prediction time: I think the next Pope could be Pierbattista Pizzaballa.
Yes, that’s his real name. No, I didn’t make it up.
Yes, he’s a cardinal. No, this isn’t an elaborate Pizza Hut ad campaign.
Sure, he’s got some pretty conservative views, but let’s be honest — the name alone could unite the world.
Say it out loud: Pope Pizzaballa. Feels warm. Feels carby. Feels like hope.
Imagine the headlines:
- Pizzaballa calls for extra topping of mercy
- Pizzaballa hosts peace summit with crusty optimism
- Vatican denies rumors of pineapple schism
Would the world be more peaceful? Probably not. But funnier? Absolutely.
🕊️🍕 Let’s manifest it.